


Love The Way You Lie

by Bookwitch



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Major Character Injury, Mental Breakdown, Multi, Past Abuse, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Song: I'll Keep Your Memory Vague, Song: Love the Way You Lie, Suspense, Touch-Starved, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 23:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 34
Words: 19,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18353606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookwitch/pseuds/Bookwitch
Summary: Nora is on patrol with Deacon when they find themselves trapped in Danse's recon bunker with Deacon possibly dying and really being a horrible patient.





	1. I'll Follow You

**Author's Note:**

> I always think of Deacon when I hear the song "Love The Way You Lie", not particularly because of the content of the song, but because, well, Deacon lies. It's like breathing to him.
> 
> No characters (as of yet) are mine. I may add in one or more OC depending on how the story goes.

“Son of a BITCH!”

Nora looked behind her to see that Deacon had been knocked several feet sideways, and he was now on his back in a life or death struggle with a raider. The woman who attacked out of seemingly nowhere was straddling him and she actually managed to land a hell of a punch with a power fist to his sternum before Nora could raise her weapon and aim. Ouch, yeah, the boy was going to need a stimpak. Or three.

She pulled the trigger, and still found herself amazed that Righteous Authority had the results it did. In an instant, the attacking raider dissolved in a pile of red hot steaming ash.  
“That never gets old.” she murmured to herself as she ran to Deacon to offer him a hand up.

“You didn't tell me you had an old girlfriend in this area,” she quipped as she squatted down next to him. 

He had managed to get himself into a sitting position before he doubled over into a coughing fit. He grabbed her leg for support, a move so sudden she quickly sat down before she fell on him. She sat facing him and allowed him to lean his head on her lap as he regained composure.

“D?” she prompted, when the coughing had settled down. He suddenly realized he was leaning on her, and she felt tension take him over again. He pushed himself back and looked at her, but he still seemed dazed. This worried her...he never took this long to recover. “D, come on, hon. We need to get moving. If she was a scout, her group couldn't have been too far behind. We need to get out of sight.”

When he still didn't give a response, she grabbed a stimpak and was about to stab him with it when he grabbed her hand.

“Don't need it…” he said raspily. 

“Took you long enough.”

“Awww, you were worried.”

“Yeah. That I was going to have to explain to Des that I let one slip past me and got one of her agents killed. She just about had you for lunch, hotshot.” She stood and grinned down at him as she offered him a hand up. He blatantly ignored it and got up himself.

“More like I inhaled about half of what's left of her. What the hell kind of mods did you put on that thing?”

Nora laughed out loud.

“You forget my husband was military. This type of weapon may not have existed 200 years ago, but the technology was there. And he taught me how to defend myself.”

“That...doesn't answer my question, but OK.”

“Come on, D. Let's go. I'm surprised we haven't been attacked yet. She must have been WAY ahead of her gang.” 

She looked around, and realized the area was familiar to her. They were just a few miles from the bunker where Danse had exiled himself. It would be quite a trek with an injured person, but Deacon did seem to be holding up well enough for them to get to safety before she checked him over. Danse would help them.

“This way,” she said, pointing northwest. 

“After you, boss.”


	2. Fake It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deacon's POV on the trek to the bunker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Fake It by Seether

Deacon was still somewhat in shock as he started following Nora. He still couldn't believe he had let the raider slip up on him like that. Even with her in stealth, he should still have been aware that something wasn't right. He and Nora both had PTSD-levels of hypervigilance, after all, and what good was PTSD without that particular superpower?

He was sure he had a couple of cracked, if not outright broken, ribs, and damned if she hadn't knocked the breath out of him. Then of course, he got a lung full of human ash thanks to that monster of a death machine that Nora lugged around with her. Not that he wasn't grateful...that death machine had saved his life. Again. Still, accidentally inhaling the ashes of his enemies wasn't exactly one of his favorite activities. That one might actually be the one to make him quit smoking.

He was starting to have a little trouble keeping up with Nora; she hadn't seemed to notice yet, but he was already breaking out into a cold sweat and getting out of breath far too easily. She wouldn't leave him voluntarily, so he was already planning for the eventuality that he might have to bug out first chance he got. The Railroad could get along without him; he KNEW the Commonwealth would do just fine. But without her? No. In just the short time he had known her, she had done so much good for so many people. She never hesitated to jump in to help people, whether they be human or synth. And that was the thing. She considered them all PEOPLE. She didn't differentiate. He hated for her that she wound up being a big ol' science experiment 200 years ago. But he was glad for them. She gave him hope, and hope was something he thought he'd thrown out the window long ago.

"You OK?"

"Say what, boss?"

"Are you OK?" 

When she spoke again, he realized she was pushing a bottle of purified water into his hand. They had stopped underneath a rock outcropping to rest.

"I'm OK."

The look she gave him told him she didn't believe him, but she wasn't going to challenge him on it just yet.

"So where...where exactly are we going?"

"There's a bunker where we'll be safe until we can regroup. Paladin Danse is..."

"You seriously think a Brotherhood soldier is going to grant me safe haven?"

"FORMER Brotherhood." she emphasized. "He's...it's a long story. But yes. He will."

"If you say so."

"I do." She took another drink from her own water, then looked at him pointedly. "Do you feel up to heading on?"

Damn it. She had noticed.

"I'll make it." he insisted.

"If you say so."

"I do."

He managed a grin, and she smirked as she realized he'd used her own words against her.


	3. Running Up That Hill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost to the bunker. So close, and yet so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Running Up That Hill by Placebo

"Almost there," Nora said, although she wasn't sure if it was to encourage herself or Deacon. 

Deacon said nothing. He'd been quiet since he'd been attacked, and had been utterly silent for the last mile or so. Being on patrol with him while he wasn't running his mouth was surreal, and she wasn't sure she liked it. He was definitely more injured than he was letting on. She suspected that he had refused the stimpak because he was afraid she would need it, but she had 30 of the damned things on her. When they left North Church, she didn't know how long they'd be gone, so she had stocked up on them. She might have to ninja it into him; he'd be pissed, but he'd live.

And he might not live otherwise, she thought grimly. Sure he was up walking around. But that punch he took to the sternum worried her. He was getting out of breath far too easily. She reminded herself that they were almost there. Almost...

A bullet whizzing by her head interrupted her thoughts.

"FUCK."

Deacon pulled her off the path and behind one of the many large dead trees in the area.

"I don't want to make you nervous, but..."

"Yeah, yeah. I suspect you're right. We're not alone." she said. "You hit?"

Deacon shook his head. "You?"

"Did you think you'd get away?" a male voice shouted. "You were too god-damned easy to track."

"Track this!" Deacon shouted, and fired of a couple of rounds from his .44 snubnose before ducking back behind the tree with her.

They heard a scream, so at least one of those bullets hit...well, something living.

"You're going to pay for that, pretty boy!" came the same voice. "That's two of my crew in one day."

"Awww, he thinks I'm pretty. I can't take credit for both, but thank you for thinking so highly of me." Deacon yelled back.

There was silence for a moment, and Nora was wondering how many of them there were.

"Four or five, at least," he said, somehow reading her thoughts. Before she could reply, a rock landed near.... no, no, that was a frag grenade.

"Move it!" she shouted, and they ran again, making it just behind a large clump of rocks before a rain of frag debris hit their cover, followed closely by an insane number of bullets.

"Damn it, they've got a minigun!" Nora exclaimed under her breath.

"How much further to this bunker?"

"Not much further."

"Great." Deacon murmured, then looked at her, surprised, as she started looking through her backpack. "Don't tell me you've got something better than your portable death ray in there."

"Well, no. But...."

"A flare gun? You think there are Minutemen around here?"

"Not Minutemen." she said, pulling out a flare. She and Danse had designed a system, and she had altered a few flares for the purpose. "Do you think you can run?"

"Something tells me we're about to find out."

She nodded. 

"Hopefully Danse is out in the open where he can see this. Once I fire this, we need to take off. The flare will tell him that we're coming...and we're coming in hot. He'll get the security system ready."

"Sounds like suicide. But, so is staying here. And what the hell. The life expectancy of a Railraod agent is...well, it's not long."

"Well, it's going to extend past today. So get ready. Once this fires, start running. Half a mile in that direction. I'll be right behind you."

He looked at her skeptically. "Promise?"

"Promise."

"Alright, Fixer. Let's see if you can fix this."


	4. Hard To Move Mountains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danse to the rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Get Up by Shinedown

Nora fired the flare into the air, and Deacon simultaneously tossed a flash-bang in the direction of the attacking raiders. Then, they started running.

"Just a little further." she urged when Deacon started slowing down. "Keep going."

He did keep going, but he was struggling. The flash-bang should have been enough to confuse the raiders for a while, but they would catch up soon. Finally he stopped.

"I can't...." he said.

"Yes you can." she urged, but pulled him off the path near another outcropping of rocks. "It literally is just around that bend over the hill. The path narrows a little, then widens out and we're in front of the bunker."

"Might as well be in China." he said, sitting down. "You go. I'll hold them off." 

"No. Absolutely not."

"So we're BOTH going to die? What kind of sense does that make? Get out of here. Too many people are depending on you."

"Are you fucking KIDDING me right now?"

He looked up at her with an incredulous expression, made all the more infuriating by the fact that she couldn't see his eyes. Those fucking patrolman shades.

"Do I look like I'm kidding you? Besides, what are you going to do, carry me?"

"No, but I will."

Nora turned around suddenly, prepared to strike with the blade that psychopath Pickman had given her, but pulled back when she saw Paladin Danse.  
She never thought she would be so happy to see his arrogant synth ass, but right now, she was so relieved she could cry.

"Thank GOD."

"What's the problem?"

"He got sucker punched by a power fist earlier. Got the breath knocked out of him. Insists his stubborn ass is OK but he's getting worse."

"Well, let's not discuss it out here." He turned to Deacon. "Are you going to walk, or am I carrying you? Your choice." 

Deacon sighed and dropped his head in defeat.

"OK. If you're going to gang up on me. I don't want the karma of getting all three of us killed."

"Nobody is getting killed today," Nora said, offering him a hand up. This time, he accepted her help. 

"At least not one of us," Danse offered as he suddenly started spraying bullets in the direction of the approaching raiders who had found them again. While Danse gave them cover, they took off running in the direction of the bunker. 

"Come on, Danse!" she yelled as they reached the crest of the hill. He gave one more good spray of bullets then came after them.


	5. How To Save A Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're safe.... maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: How To Save A Life, The Fray

Nora breathed a sigh of relief when they finally made it inside the bunker and Danse closed and secured the door behind them.

"Everyone OK?" Danse asked as he turned around. "Are you two OK?"

"Relatively speaking," Nora said. "Although we need to give Deacon the once-over here."

Danse looked at him quizzically.

"You look familiar. Ah, now I remember. You're Railroad."

"And you're Brotherhood. Sorry you risked your life for the likes of me."

"Well, I did it for her. Nora is the only reason the Brotherhood has let me live."

Deacon scrunched up his face. "Yeah, when I pointed out that you wouldn't exactly be thrilled to see me, she said you were former."

Danse looked at Nora. "You mean he doesn't know?"

Nora shrugged. "Not my business to tell, Danse."

Danse looked stunned for a moment.

"Dude, if you think she'd break your confidence, you don't know her at all."

"I like to think I know her very well. I'm just....well, I haven't adjusted to it myself yet." He turned back to Nora. "Thank you, my friend. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you in my life, but I'm glad I did it. Now, let's see what we can do to make your friend here comfortable."

Danse led them to one of the inner rooms that he had set up as a kind of bedroom. There were two beds, as the station had been set up to be run by two people. Deacon's breathing was getting very shallow and he was coughing more, probably worsened by the sprint they just took, so Nora ordered him to at least sit down while they checked him out.

Danse disappeared into one of the back rooms and reappeared with a blanket and a large medical kit.

"Pretty crude, but it'll have to do until we can get you to a better facility." Danse explained. "I'm going back up front to keep an eye on things. Yell if you need help."

He disappeared without waiting for a reply from either of them.


	6. Enemies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danse guards the front while Nora helps her wounded friend.

Danse double checked that the door was secure and glanced out the one small window. The door was a blast door and the glass in the window was bullet proof, but that didn't mean they were 100% secure. If the raiders were to manage to break in, he could hold them off while his visitors escaped through the emergency tunnel.

He had been alarmed when he saw the flare. He and Nora had worked out a code with a few of the Minutemen flares she kept on her, and she had altered and marked them. One color meant pinned down. Another meant injured. The one she had sent up meant she was coming in under fire. He was supposed to, by their agreement, just get the turrets ready to fire and open up the door for them, but when he heard the gunfire, he couldn't stay and wait. He owed her his life. She had saved him and those who served under him countless times, starting with the second she had walked up on them in Cambridge being overrun by feral ghouls. And later, when she had been sent to kill him, she not only spared him but stood up to Elder Maxson for him. Because of her, Arthur had promised to leave him alone, provided he had no further contact with the Brotherhood.

He didn't hold it against Arthur. He really didn't. After all, he had been the same way himself. He had abhorred technology taken too far. He despised scientists' knowledge outstretching their understanding.

And here, all the time, he had been that which he had hated. It was hard to come to terms with. Even harder to come to terms with was the fact that he had been branded a traitor, although he'd never done anything to betray his brothers and sisters. He had even felt anger when he saw that Nora was with a Railroad agent. Then he remembered that Railroad agents were saving others like him...not what he thought he was, but what he was.

"Paladin Danse."

"I've been stripped of that rank, Paladin. As you well know. I'm placing you in danger just talking to you. If Elder Maxson finds out..."

Nora smiled grimly.

"Elder Maxson can go to hell. I'm sorry, Danse. I know you had a lot of respect for him. But I've come to realize he's dangerously unstable." She walked up to him and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Besides. You saved our asses. What am I going to do, report you?"

Danse gave a bitter chuckle.

"How is your friend? Deacon, was it?"

"Very, very grumpy. Keeps insisting he's OK, and won't let me so much as give him a stimpak."

"Wait until he's sleeping?"

"I'm afraid to let him go to sleep." she admitted. "In fact, I should get back to him. I just wanted to come out and thank you for coming to help us."

"It's nothing you haven't done for me." Danse replied. "Go on. I'll come check on you in a bit. Maybe I can intimidate him into accepting the stimpak."

Nora laughed in spite of her concern, and it was good to hear. She'd gone through so much it was wonderful she even remembered how to laugh.

"He doesn't really intimidate easily, but I suppose it would be worth a shot."

She turned around to head back to the inner rooms.

"Nora?"

She stopped but didn't turn around. "Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For...?"

"For still believing in me."


	7. I'll Keep Your Memory Vague

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deacon fights to remain conscious.

Deacon hated to admit it, but he was relieved when Nora left the room. His chest and ribs were hurting like a bitch, and he felt like he was trying to breathe under water. It was taking a lot of energy to mask all that, and he was pretty sure he wasn't succeeding but he was determined to keep it up for the time being anyway. Nora was worried, though. He could see it in her eyes every time she looked at him. Even if she was smiling, it was there. Fear. Fear of losing him.

That was something that was going to take some getting used to; having someone actually concerned about him. Most people, including other Railroad agents, only tolerated him. Hell, the only reason he'd been asked to join them was because of the extreme revenge he had taken on those who had murdered his wife. But Nora? She put up with his bullshit and didn't seem to take any of it seriously. She'd had many chances to ditch him or leave him to fend for himself on the runs she'd done with him. She could have let that raider kill him today. She could have just left him there since he was clearly slowing down their escape. Hell, she could have killed him herself and told Des whatever she wanted to. No one would ever know any different. 

She did none of that, though. She stayed right with him, and he had no doubt that if Paladin Danse hadn't shown up, she would have thrown him over her shoulder in a fireman carry, probably either hurting herself or worse because she refused to leave him. The woman was just that stubborn. She reminded him of Barbara. His Barbara. Every time he thought he felt a spark of attraction for Nora, he forced it back. He couldn't go through that again. The physical pain he was in right now, he could deal with. But that? No. He couldn't risk that. Not for himself, not for her. It was too much.

"I'm sorry, Barbara."

"It wasn't your fault, Deacon."

Deacon blinked and looked around the room. No one was there. Great. He was getting delirious. That's ALL anyone needed right now was for him to lose his damned mind.

"Tell me you understand that."

"No one is there. Get hold of yourself, man." he told himself.

"Deacon, I will always be a part of you. I'm always in your heart. But you're still alive. I'm not. I need you to fight. It's not time for you to join me yet."

"Oh, God. Barbara."

There she was, standing in front of him. Perfect, whole, just like she had been. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head, but she was still there.

"I didn't know, Barbara. I didn't know. I should have protected you. I should have....should have..."

"You need to let them help you. It's not your time, Deacon. You still have a lot to do."

He buried his head in his hands. No, this had to stop. It had to stop.

"Deacon..."


	8. Broken

Nora returned to the room she'd left Deacon in, only to find him mumbling to himself, head in his hands as he sat on the side of the bed.

"Deacon?" She walked over to him and squatted down in front of him, pulling his hands down into hers. Shocked at how cold they felt, she reached up and put a hand on the back of his neck. He was getting feverish, which was understandable as she was sure inflammation was already setting in from the blow to the chest he took. His fingers were cold, though. That, when considered together with his his labored breathing, made her suspect that he wasn't getting enough oxygen circulating. "Hey, tiger. How about you lay down for me?"

"...sorry...I'm sorry. I didn't know. Sh...should have protected you."

"You've done a fine job," she said as she stood, although she had a suspicion that he wasn't talking to her. "Now come on, lay back for me. It's my turn to take care of you for a bit."

It was something of a struggle, but she finally got him to lay down. Then, she ran to the bathroom, grabbed a washcloth and poured some of her purified water onto it. When she got back to him, he had closed his eyes, and her heart stopped briefly until she saw his chest move as he took a breath. She sat on the bedside and touched the damp cloth to his face.

"Nnnhh." he murmured as he grabbed her hand with a speed that shocked her. "C...cold."

"Sorry, big guy."

He opened his eyes and looked at her. He seemed a bit dazed, but there was recognition in his eyes.

"There you are." she said, forcing what she hoped was a comforting smile. "Welcome back. Did you have a nice nap?"

Deacon lifted his head a little and looked around him, then let his head flop back on the bed.

"Hey boss. We still alive?"

"So far. Danse is keeping an eye out for us. Now, are you going to let me check you over, or are you still being stubborn?"

"You should have just left me, Nora."

"Stop."

"Now you're trapped here, and I suspect that we're putting Danse in more danger, just by being here. You still run missions for the Brotherhood on occasion. If they find out..."

"I. Said. Stop. When are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours that regardless of what you might think you deserve, I am not going to abandon you? I've had enough of you trying to get me to ditch you for my own good."

"Nora. Honestly, I'm not worth..."

"Stop it!" Nora stood and started pacing angrily. "Everyone I ever loved died 200 years ago. Well, it's 200 years ago to you, and to just about everyone else. To me? It's like I went to sleep yesterday and woke up today to find that they were all dead. And you. You keep telling me to trust no one. And maybe it is because I expect nothing but bullshit and lies from you, but I trust you. Don't you get it? I. Trust. You. I can count on one hand the number of people I've met since being thawed out that I can trust. And you dare to repeatedly tell me you're not worth it? It's like a slap in the face." She stopped pacing and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before she continued. When she did speak again, she was annoyed by the quiver in her voice. "I don't have anyone anymore. Not even my own son. D, I found my son only to find out he's a 60 year old man with an even bigger ego than yours. He was a monster with a God complex. I killed my own son, Deacon. The person I gave life to, the one I was supposed to protect, and I killed him. I murdered him in cold blood because it was the right fucking thing to do considering what he became. You, Danse, Valentine, Garvey? You're all I've got. You're all I've got because I failed my husband and my son. So you, god-damned it, for once in your life, are going to let someone take care of you. I will take care of you until you're strong enough to walk out of here on your own. After that, do whatever the hell you want because I'm tired of trying to convince you that I have your back. But for right now, I'll be damned if I'm going to sit here and watch you die if I can do something about it. Do we understand each other?"

Deacon just looked at her, too in shock by her outburst to respond. She didn't think she'd ever seen him surprised speechless before. Then, she heard Danse clear his throat from the doorway.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but, can I have a word with you, Nora?"

She said nothing further to Deacon, but she knew he was staring after her as she walked out. 

"What's up?" she asked, once she felt they were far enough away from the inner rooms.

"I heard one of the turrets go off, and it looks like your raider friends have found us."

Nora snorted. "Took them long enough. How many?"

"I can't be sure, but at least 5 or 6."

Nora nodded. "We took out two of them. They seem to take their time tracking. First one was a scout; she's the one who got Deacon with a power fist. She had a Stealth Boy is about the only thing I can figure for the reason she was able to attack without either of us noticing. The second one Deacon took out just before you showed up."

"Slow with tracking means they're confident. That could work in our favor. Perhaps they've underestimated us. We're pretty secure in here for the time being. That door was meant to withstand nuclear blast. We could be trapped here a while, though. What's his condition?"

"Besides being a stubborn asshole? Sorry," she added quickly as Danse smirked. "I don't know how much of our conversation you heard. He's still having trouble breathing. That could be because he took a power fist to the sternum and his chest hurts like a bitch right now because of bruising, or...worst case scenario..."

"Crushed bones and punctured lung." Danse finished for her. "Damn. If we could get him aboard the Prydwyn..."

"Absolutely not. They'll kill him if they find out he's Railroad. And you know they'll kill you on sight."

"If it's a punctured lung, he's going to die if he stays here anyway, Nora."

"I know, I know. I just...I don't know what to do. I'm sorry."

"Why don't you take a break. Go into my stock room, have some water, have something to eat. I'll go talk to him."

"OK. OK." She grabbed Danse in a tight hug and he stood there, shocked for a moment, but finally relaxed enough to put his arms around her and hug her back. He then kissed the top of her head and released her.

"Go on, now." he said. "Take a breather. I'll sit with him."


	9. State Of My Head

Deacon didn't even bother to open his eyes when the door opened. If Nora was pissed, so be it. It would be easier for her to leave if she was pissed off at him. As footsteps came closer to the bed, however, he realized that they were a heavier step than Nora's.

"She send you in here to babysit me?" he asked, still without opening his eyes.

"No," Danse said. "I'm giving her a break. And you, whether you like it or not, should not be left alone right now."

"Couple of cracked ribs. It's nothing." He almost said, it's just a flesh would, but figured the ancient British humor would be lost on Captain America here. Well, he supposed it would be Captain Commonwealth, since America as a whole, unified entity hadn't existed since the Great War.

When Danse said nothing, Deacon opened one eye and looked at him. The man...or synth, as Deacon suspected...had pulled a chair over and was now sitting in it, leaning forward with his hands clasped in front of him, elbows resting on his knees.

"Yeah, I know I'm being an ass." he said finally. "I'm guessing you heard some of our...discussion."

"I heard enough." Danse replied. "Whatever is going on between the two of you is none of my business, but I can tell you, Nora is not an ordinary person."

"You're right. On both counts, actually."

"I don't know why you joined the Railroad," Danse continued as if he hadn't spoken, "whether you were following an ideal, or if it was just a means to an end or something to pass the time. But I'll tell you why I joined the Brotherhood. I believed their rhetoric. I honestly believed they were trying to make things better. For the most part, I think most of them believe that too. Most Brotherhood soldiers are just good people trying to help. But, as with everything, ideals can be corrupted."

"Is this going to turn into a sermon?"''

"My point is, fear can make us do stupid things, make stupid decisions. People tend to hate what they're afraid of. I hated synths and supermutants. Then, I found out I was a synth."

Now Deacon opened both eyes. So his suspicions were correct.

"She really didn't tell you, did she?"

Deacon shook his head, immediately regretting it as he became dizzy.

"No. You heard her, man. Not her story to tell. For the record, it isn't mine either, so your secret is safe with me."

"Well, it's not exactly a secret, at least to the Brotherhood . Maxson has let them believe that Nora carried out her orders. Scribe Haylen is one of a handful of people who know I'm still alive. She took a big chance talking to Nora. When Haylen found out that Nora had been given orders from Elder Maxson to kill me, she tracked her down and confronted her, asked her to hear me out. As for me, I was prepared to let Nora execute me. She had her orders. As a soldier, I understand that. And I knew that I was the enemy. I was my own enemy. Finding out I wasn't who I thought I was...that was rough. I was taken aback when Nora not only refused to execute me, but when it turned out Maxson had followed her, she stood up for me. I wasn't used to that. I honestly don't know if I would have done the same thing if I was in her shoes and had discovered that she was a synth. That fact shames me."

Danse paused to give Deacon and chance to respond. When he didn't, Danse leaned forward and squeezed his hand, an act that so surprised Deacon he froze.

"Long story short, son...don't let fear lead you to hate. I have a strong suspicion that you are afraid of yourself. Don't start hating yourself."

A bit late for that advice, Deacon thought.

"Trust me, I know a little about that." Danse continued. "Don't go down that road. There is already too much hate in the world. Believe me, if Nora sees something in you worth sticking around for, you're worth sticking around for. Her high esteem isn't given easily."

Deacon closed his eyes again and sighed. Man, he was really getting a headache on top of everything else that already hurt. He felt a tear forming and was glad that he'd grabbed his sunglasses after Nora stormed out. He couldn't even remember her taking them off of him, and that was not a good sign. Thankfully she knew him well enough to leave them where he could easily find them. 

How had he let himself get this involved with people? Having people who cared about him, it sucked. It really sucked because he had a helluva lot of baggage, and face it, he was not a nice person because of it. Or maybe he was never a nice person to begin with. At any rate, it all boiled down to sucking really hard.

To make matters worse, he didn't know how well Danse kept this bunker stocked. He was clearly trying to stay under the Brotherhood's radar, but if they were trapped for any length of time, having two additional people here could really deplete the synth's supplies. The Institute would no longer be a problem for him, but Deacon did not want to put Danse in any danger from the Brotherhood.

Danse seemed to have decided he'd said enough, so Deacon refocused on his breathing. It was getting harder to breathe, but as long as he kept it shallow it wasn't too painful, and he could count his breaths to take his mind off of...well, just about everything right now. It gradually started working and soon he felt himself drifting off to sleep. Maybe for Nora's sake he wouldn't wake up again, and she could stop risking her life for him.


	10. Welcome To The Jungle

Nora wanted to punch something. Well, to be honest, she wanted to punch Deacon, but she had a thing against kicking... or punching... people when they were down.

Instead, she forced herself to take a few deep breaths. She needed to calm her nerves, still her mind. She pulled on every technique she knew for self-soothing, everything she had ever used in her previous life.

She actually laughed to herself when that came to mind. Her previous life. Thinking now about how nervous she'd been taking her bar exam, or starting her first day at a new law firm, or even later when she was offered junior partner... It all seemed laughable. Could she even claim to be the same person any more?

She'd only been out of the vault for maybe a year. The things she'd seen... the things she'd done... the Nora from 200 years ago would have been horrified at what she'd become. She'd found a few good people... she even had a lot of respect for that jerk Rhys... but it was so hard to trust people. This world she'd woken up in...it was terrifying on so many levels.

Sudden gunfire grabbed her attention, and she realized one of the machine gun turrets had locked onto a target. She glanced out the window but saw nothing, although she was able to gauge the direction the turrets were attacking.

"We know you're in there, girl. You'll need to come out at some point. And believe me, I got nothing but time."

An explosion caused her to step back from the door, and she knew that could mean only one thing.

"Fuck."

Danse came running out as he heard her cursing.

"They took one of your turrets out." She explained. "They haven't tried the door yet, but if they hack that terminal..."

"I shut down that terminal from inside, so they won't be able to do that. They'll have to break the door down."

Well, that was one positive, but not exactly one that made her want to jump for joy. She sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in the past few hours. Today was turning into a very long day, and she was sure it was going to be an even longer night.


	11. Bulletproof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danse, Nora, and Deacon try to wait out the raiders. Hopefully all of them will live through the night.

When Nora returned to Deacon, he was sound asleep. As anxious as she was about letting him sleep with his injuries, especially not knowing if he had internal bleeding, she opted to let him sleep a while longer. She'd give him at least an hour before trying to wake him up and get him coherent. That is, as long as the blast door held.

She did lean forward in her chair and take his pulse, frowning at how rapid and faint it was. If he had a punctured or otherwise collapsed lung, fluid and air could be gathering in the space his lung was no longer filling, which in turn would deflate it even further in addition to putting pressure on his heart. Damn it, she had just enough medical knowledge to scare herself, but not enough to be confident or truly useful. She was a lawyer, after all, not a medical practitioner.

"Thanks, Nate," she murmured under her breath. As tension had risen in the world and the threat of nuclear destruction loomed over them, he had insisted that she take a course in survival medicine. It was training he'd had as a soldier, and he wanted her to have that knowledge in case he was deployed. Or dead...that was the part that they never verbalized. If only he had been the one to survive instead of her.

But he wasn't. She was. She liked to think he'd be proud of her, the way she was adjusting to the world after their world ended. She hoped he would be, anyway.

"I'm doing the best I can."

"Of course. That's all anyone can ask of us, is our best."

"Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry, Danse. I didn't realize I'd spoken aloud."

"It's OK, soldier. How are we holding up back here?"

Nora shrugged. "Hard to tell." She said quietly. "I thought maybe if we let him rest a little. How's the front?"

"Door still holding. It's actually been pretty quiet. They threw a couple more frag grenades against the door after you came back here, but I guess they wised up and are thinking of another plan that won't waste their resources."

"Great. Patient and tactically conservative. That just means that the next thing they launch will be huge."

Deacon suddenly rolled to his side. Apparently his lungs didn't like the new position because almost immediately he pushed himself upright, gasping for air. Nora moved to him quickly, gripping his shoulders and patting his face to get him to look at her.

"It's all right, honey. You're all right. Tell me what's going on." 

"Can't...c...can't breathe."

He grabbed her wrist as she stood, and her heart sank. He was scared and not bothering to hide it. That simple action was all she needed to tell her that she wasn't just overreacting. Leaving his hand on her wrist, she rested her other hand over his and sat back down.

"I'm right here, Deacon " she said softly, raising her arm to lift his hand to her lips. "I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. I just stood to get the stethoscope. Now, come on, let's get this jacket off of you."

He flashed her a weak smile. "Always kn...knew you'd eventually want to undress me." 

She chuckled as she helped him remove his jacket, tossing it over her chair. Then she grabbed stethoscope from the medical kit and took a careful listen to several spots on his back, then his chest. Just as she feared, the sounds that would normally be there as his lungs filled were nearly absent on the left side. His right lung was taking up the slack, but if they didn't do something soon, it could follow.

Deacon slumped in to her and she grabbed him to keep him from falling forward. Simultaneously an orange flight suit caught her eye, and she pulled her own .44 snubnose from her rear holster and aimed it with one hand.

"Whoa, Paladin. Don't shoot! It's just me!"

"Rhys? When the fuck did you get here? HOW the fuck did you get here?"

"I brought him." Scribe Haylen announced as she stepped out from behind Knight Rhys. "We came in through the back tunnel."

"There is a radio frequency that is no longer used by the Brotherhood. I set up a distress pulser to that frequency, and that's how I've been communicating with Haylen and Rhys." Danse explained. "I'm sorry. I should have told you. I set it going when I first realized we were trapped here and he wouldn't be well enough to get out through the tunnel."

"So, are you, uh, going to put that weapon away, Paladin? I know you and I don't exactly get along, but Christ."

Nora held the gun ready for just another moment, just enough to make Rhys wonder, all the while keeping a protective arm around Deacon. Then, she put it away and returned her full attention to Deacon, hiding a smirk as she heard Rhys sigh in relief.


	12. Never Say Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knight Rhys and Scribe Halen have turned up to help. Is it too late?

Deacon wasn't sure at this point what was going on. He had fallen asleep...a fitful sleep, but sleep, nonetheless...and suddenly he was struggling to get air. Then Nora pulled a gun on someone, and the protective mama bear arm she kept around him while aiming it was oddly comforting... and kind of hot, if he let himself admit it.

Apparently the new arrivals were people Nora knew, because she reholstered her gun and returned her attention to him.

"OK, hotshot. Let's get this shirt off of you. Can you lift your arms for me?"

He grumbled a little. He hated being helpless, and he hated being helpless in front of an audience even more. 

"Deacon. Don't make me do the pre-war game of "skin the rabbit" that we used to do to get children to cooperate when changing clothes."

"You people were some sick bastards."

That was one of the newcomers... Nora had called him Rhys?...and Deacon chuckled because he was thinking the exact same thing.

Regardless, he lifted his arms above his head, and Christ did that hurt. But he managed it, dropping his arms again as soon as his t-shirt was clear of his head and arms.

Only then did Nora allow him to lay down again.

"We're going to take care of you, D. I promise."


	13. State Of My Head... Again

"How can I help, Paladin?"

Scribe Haylen knelt by the bed at Nora's side and opened up her medic bag, then looked at Nora expectantly.

"Are you fully stocked?"

"Always, ma'am."

"Good. He needs a couple of stimpaks. I have plenty of those, but he's also gonna need some med-x. To start."

"Whoa whoa whoa. Is the doctor going to ask the patient how he feels?"

"Sorry babe. No doctor. You're stuck with me and Scribe Haylen. Besides, the patient isn't known for being forthcoming about how he feels."

"I don't want the med-x."

"You're going to need it, Deacon."

"I can handle pain. I'll be fine."

"Oh, for fuck's sake." She stood up and started pacing. "Ok, everyone. Could y'all give us a minute?" She added "Please," when they all just stared at her. 

She must have had The Look when she spoke, because they all did as she asked and headed to the front rooms. Even Rhys left without some kind of smart ass comment 

After they were gone, Nora pulled her chair closer to the bed and took one of Deacon's hands.

"Deacon..."

"You know how I feel about chems. So what gives with bringing on the heavy stuff, boss?"

"I want to make absolutely sure you understand how serious this is."

"Oh believe me," he said, rubbing his bruised sternum with his free hand. "I do."

"I don't think you do. Sweetie, we're about to do an emergency field surgery on you, in less than ideal conditions, and once Haylen and I start, you absolutely cannot move. It's one of those "a centimeter in either direction away from what we're aiming for is disaster." situations."

"You have a terrible bedside manner, you know that?"

"I'm not trying to scare you. I just... look, I know it's hard for you to let your guard down. But you trust me, right?" 

"More than you could ever know."

"I'm glad. Babe, I don't know what hurt you so much that you've decided bullshitting your way through life is your only option, but I promise you, I am not going anywhere. I will be right here with you. I know you don't like not being in control of your mental faculties, but I am here and I am not going to let anything happen to you. You can let go just long enough for us to take care of this, and I promise you that when we're done, if you tell me no more drugs, then no more drugs. You can suffer to your heart's content. Will you trust me to do that for you?"

She sat with him for another moment or two in silence before she went and got the others. For a heavy moment she really thought he was going to just outright refuse her, but finally he nodded in agreement. Then Nora took a deep breath and went to get the others.

God she hoped she was making the right decision.


	14. When The Snake Bites

Danse and Rhys cleared off the intel room table to serve as their surgery table while Nora and Haylen pulled out all the supplies they might possibly need.

"Have you been taught how to do the emergency procedure for a pneumothorax?"

"In theory, yes. But I've been fortunate in that I've never had to do one."

"OK." she said. "We're going to be working on his left side. That's both good and bad. The good part is, it's generally the smaller of our lungs because it has to leave room for the heart, so at least it's the larger of the two lungs taking up slack. The bad news is..."

"That's where his heart is."

Nora nodded. 

"This medical kit is primitive. Hell, it was primitive 200 years ago. Simple still works, though. When you open that kit, you'll find a large bore needle and catheter in there, still sealed."

"Did you just say large bore? don't like the sound of that."

"You'll be fine, Deacon." Nora replied as she looked around to see Rhys helping Deacon into the room. "And you are getting at least one stimpak and a med-x before we start, and another dose of each once we're finished, so you may not actually care that much in the moment."

Haylen spread a blanket over the table and motioned for Rhys to guide Deacon to it.

"Come on, pal." he said. "Hop up here and we'll let these ladies get to work."

"First off, I'm not your pal."

"Fair enough."

"Second, I don't hop anywhere."

"Fine. We'll do it the hard way."

With no more talk, Rhys picked Deacon up and put him on the table. Nora tried to suppress a smirk, because Rhys moved so quickly Deacon didn't even have time to yelp before he found himself firmly in the center of the table. She had to admit even she was surprised by the soldier's raw strength.

"That was DEFINITELY not in the script." Deacon grumped when he finally caught his breath enough to respond. He started to sit up, but Rhys stood there, arms crossed and glaring, looking like a bouncer hoping for a reason to fight, and Deacon relented.

"I'd stay if I were you." Rhys growled. "I'm a latecomer here so I don't give a rat's ass what the outcome is. But Nora seems to think you're worth the rescue effort. That means I'm helping her."

Scribe Haylen rolled her eyes.

"Children, please."

She nodded to Nora as she moved to Deacon's left side. "All right, Blue Eyes. I need you to do something for me."

Deacon smiled and seemed to relax as he looked at Scribe Haylen. "If you just stand there and smile just like that, doll face, I'll do anything you ask. I'm putty in your hands."

"Raise your left arm up and back under your head... give me your best supermodel pose."

"How did you guess my secret identi... SONOFABITCH. WHAT THE HELL, boss?"

Nora laughed as she high-fived Haylen, and the look Deacon gave Nora told her he knew he'd been had.

"I'm sorry, baby. But I knew I'd have to catch you while you were distracted. You're still being a stubborn ass."

"That comes natural, darlin'…I've never claimed to be anything else. Whoa, that stuff...wow, it works fast."

Nora rested her hand alongside his face and stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"It does. I need you to relax as much as possible, OK? We really can't sedate you much, and I can't make it not hurt, but I promise we'll get it over with as quickly as possible. I'm going to keep talking to you, so just focus on my voice."

Deacon nodded to her, but then jumped as Haylen tore open an antimicrobial swab and started cleaning his side. His arm came down to his side quickly, and Rhys moved to the head of the table and pulled both of his arms up, holding them fast.

"Wait. Please wait...give me...give me a minute. Please..."

"Shhhh. It's all going to be over soon. I'm here. I'm right here. We need to work fast before the med-x starts to wear off. See, you didn't even feel the stimpak that Haylen gave you. Good stuff, right?"

Deacon said nothing, his only response to close his eyes and try to take a deep breath. Nora knew he was struggling to keep the panic at bay. She only hoped Rhys was strong enough to keep Deacon's arms immobile. Adrenaline could be a helluva thing, even in a drugged patient. Nora kept stroking his cheek and talking to him softly, but when he leaned his face into her hand, she could feel his pulse pounding where her fingers rested under his ear.

"Deacon, I'm here. I'm here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Don't fight the chems." she urged. "You can let go, just for a little while."


	15. S&M

Deacon was already fighting off panic when Nora had ninja'd the med-x into him, and that didn't exactly reinforce the trust he had in her.

He knew he was being a lousy patient. He had agreed to take the pain medication not so much for his comfort but for Nora's. She was trying to be encouraging but he could tell she was terrified. 

Not that he wasn't terrified enough on his own. He wasn't lying about being able to handle physical pain. Pain was just that...pain. Whether he healed or died, it would eventually have an end. No, what terrified him was not being in complete control of his mental faculties. Even when he was in the midst of his "young and stupid" phase, he never liked being high. The world was a dark, ugly, dangerous place and he never wanted anything that would hinder his perception or reflexes.

Yet, here he was, shirtless, drugged, and being held down by a Brotherhood Knight while two women prepared to cut him open. He had kept most of the panic away, but hearing Nora explain to Haylen what she needed to do sent him back to the edge.

"...large bore needle and catheter" she was saying. Of COURSE he'd tune back in for that little gem. "You want to go in just above his third rib."

Nora was trying to reassure him that she wasn't going anywhere, and he was trying to focus on her. It worked for a brief moment, but suddenly his heart was pounding again. Nora was now pleading with him, but he was too far gone for that to help.

"Please, just a minute" he said again. Hearing the term "large bore needle" twice in the last few minutes was not exactly ideal, and he could tell that he was slurring his words, another reminder that he was chem'd up. "Give me just a minute."

"No can do, man," Rhys interjected as he adjusted his grip on Deacon's arms so that he essentially had a vice grip on both of Deacon's hands. "You heard the lady. We go ahead and just do this before that stuff wears off and we need to give you another dose. For now, I want you to squeeze my hands as tight as you need to. I don't care if you break my hands, but you take the pain out on me, not them. Besides, last time Haylen had to patch me up, she threatened to shoot me if I didn't stop squirming. Just fair warning."

Fine, Deacon thought. For some reason, the threat of violence, even in a joking manner, was what enabled him to flip the switch. Time to let the smartass out. If he had to do this, maybe at least he had the possibility of dying while making people laugh.

"Fine. Fine. But this is getting a little kinky, isn't it? I mean, we just met. You should at least buy me dinner, right?" Deacon quipped. 

He heard Rhys suppress a snort before he replied. "I'll work on getting you dinner afterwards."

"There's the Deacon we all know and love " Nora said, giving his shoulder a squeeze. Then she leaned forward and kissed his cheek, a move that left him momentarily speechless.

"We'll get this over with quickly. I promise." Nora whispered in his ear before she straightened back up.


	16. Call Me A Doctor

Nora looked at Rhys gratefully as he talked Deacon through a panic attack. Rhys had always been an ass, and she had never felt like anything she accomplished was good enough for him. No matter how many areas she cleared of whatever baddie was terrorizing whatever area of the Commonwealth, he always seemed surprised when she came back, yet again, and offered to help, yet again. Just like she was getting tired of trying to get Deacon to understand that he was good enough as he was, and a helluva lot better than he thought he was, she was getting tired of trying to get Rhys to understand that she had no ulterior motive for helping them out. It was kind of surreal watching the gruff, distrustful soldier attempt to be soothing

Rhys had softened his attitude with her after she and a group of Minutemen and Railroaders had taken down the Institute, all in one fell swoop. Still, even then, he had apologized, then went immediately back to being a complete ass. So yeah, surreal was putting it mildly.

"Haylen, once you push through above the third rib, make sure you stop as soon as you hear a hiss. When you remove the needle, the rubber tip on the catheter will keep it from disappearing into his body."

Deacon's respiratory rate started to speed up, and she could tell that his heart rate, already weak and rapid, had taken quite a jump.

"I need you to slow your breathing down, Deacon. I know deep breaths hurt, but try as much as you can. Right now all you're doing is making your lungs and heart work harder."

"Easy for you to say, boss."

"I know. But try? For me?"

Deacon sighed. "You know I never could resist a pretty face."

Nora kept him distracted a little longer while Haylen wiped his side down with antimicrobial fluid again. Deacon jumped a little at the first touch, but with Nora talking to him he remained calm. Once Haylen had finished and readied the needle and catheter, she nodded to Nora.

"Hey, D," she whispered. "We're ready. It'll be over soon and we'll let you rest."

"All right, Blue Eyes," Haylen began. "You're going to feel me touching you, but it's just my hands right now. I want you to just look at Nora. Or Rhys, but he's not as pretty. Point is, just concentrate on anyone but me." 

Haylen winked at Rhys as she said this, and Nora swore she saw a hint of a blush on Rhys. She made a mental note to check that situation out when the crisis was over.

"Just do it," Deacon said, but he did turn his head towards Nora.  
He swallowed hard, but nodded once. Nora returned the nod and glanced at Haylen, who looked oddly terrified and confident at the same time.

Deacon grunted as he felt Haylen push on his side. She did a finger walk up his side and found the spot she needed.

"All set, Blue Eyes. Here comes a pinch. Yell and curse all you need to, but DON'T. MOVE."

Before he could respond, she started the pushing the needle in. Deacon tensed and Nora heard a sharp intake of breath, yet surprisingly he didn't yell. 

"Almost, baby." She soothed. "Haylen is almost done."

He took a few sharp breaths through clenched teeth, and finally a groan. She glanced at Rhys; his mouth was pressed into a thin line and he had a white knuckle grip on Deacon's hands. The knight looked like he was going to be sick. Hopefully they could get through this without having an additional patient.

Finally they heard it. The hiss they were listening for.

"It's in!" Haylen announced. "Just another second and... there we go, Blue Eyes. The needle is out. It's out. I just need you to hang on a second longer and I'll tape this tube so it doesn't get caught on anything."

"See?" Nora said as she stroked his cheek again. "You did fine. No, no, you are not getting up yet. I'm giving you one more dose of med-x and another stimpak. It'll help you rest."

He said nothing for a moment, and she could tell he was just trying to bring himself back to the present. He didn't respond at all when he got two more injections, and honestly that scared her almost more than the surgery they had just performed.

"You can let him go, Knight. I don't think he has any fight left in him for the time being. "

Rhys did as she asked but stood nearby just in case. He knew as well as she did thatpain did things to people, and with enough pain, a good sized human being could be a real threat 

Nora took Deacon's hand and continued stroking his cheek with her free hand.

"Deacon. Open your eyes for me, honey. Open your eyes. That's right." She smiled at him as he opened his eyes and focused on her. "Look at me. There you go. Hey there. hot stuff. How do you feel?"

"Peachy. Is the party still going on?"

"It's always a party with you, D. Come on, let me help you up."

With her help, he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the table.

"That's far enough. Just sit there a minute and let yourself get adjusted."

He looked annoyed but listened to her. In the meantime Scribe Haylen had finished cleaning up the waste from their impromptu surgery and had returned to check her patient.

"Sitting up. That's good." She lifted his arm and checked the catheter. "That looks good. As long as your lung seems to be holding up, we can take that out in a few hours. Now, why don't you let Nora help you back to bed? You really should rest a while."

"What's the security situation?"

"Paladin Danse and I are taking care of that." Rhys stated. "Trust me, you'll know if we need you."

Deacon looked at Nora and she shrugged.

"He's an ass, but I'd trust him with my life." Nora answered.

"OK, OK, I get the hint. I'll rest. Lead the way, Mom."

Nora's eyes darkened briefly, then returned to normal 

"I'll forget that you called me that."

She helped him stand, and they slowly made their way to the room with the beds.


	17. I'll Be There

Rhys watched Nora lead the Railroad agent out of the room, waiting for the door to close before he turned to Haylen.

"Nice work, Scribe."

"Thank you, Knight."

He walked up to her and put his arms around her, and when she rested her head on his chest he realized she was shaking.

"Haylen," he said gently, "it's over. You saved his life. You did great."

"I just keep thinking about..."

"I know." He said. "I know what you were thinking about. You did the right thing, Haylen. That Knight was suffering, dying a slow agonizing death. We had no hope of help coming. You did what was necessary."

Haylen looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "In all of my training, no one ever covered purposefully killing a patient."

"You didn't kill him, Haylen. He was dying. You just made it less painful for him. You followed orders, and you showed mercy." He wrapped her in his arms again and kissed the top of her head. "You saved my life. You saved that agent's life. I'm proud to serve with you, and I'm proud to call you friend."

They stood there for a few moments, just breathing each other in and holding each other. Suddenly Rhys released her and smiled.

"Ah, what the hell. We've already broken enough rules to be court-martialed 15 times over."

Before she could respond, Rhys leaned in and met her in a soft kiss. He pulled back to gauge her reaction, and she immediately pulled him back down to her and met him in a full on kiss. He fell into it a little too easily, pulling back only when their hands started wandering.

"Haylen, I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize. In fact," she said as she winked at him, "you'd better promise to do that again... when we're in more private quarters. Now, let's go see if Danse needs anything."


	18. Steal Your Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emergency field surgery completed; now to just wait for the stimpaks to do their job.

Nora watched Deacon sleep, keeping a paranoid eye on his respiratory rate. She was going to have to kick his ass later, that was for sure. This entire procedure would not have been necessary if he had just let her stimpak him right after the attack. But no, he wouldn't allow it, so instead of the stimpak immediately healing the damage, it had time to worsen as air leaked from his lung and fluid filled the space that should be occupied by air. 

But, what's done is done and he seemed to be holding up well. Maybe next time he'd listen to her. If there was a next time, she realized sadly. In her anger she had told him that he could do as he wished once he was strong enough to walk on his own. 

"What happened to you, Deacon?" she whispered as she sat on the bedside. "Why hide under so many layers?"

He seemed to be sleeping deeply, so she started to get back up and go sit in a chair across the room, but before she could move, he sat bolt upright yelling something incomprehensible.  
Quickly she grabbed his shoulders and tried to get him to lay back down.

"Deacon? You're OK, baby. You're OK. Whatever it is, it's just a dream."

He quieted down and looked at her with wild eyes, and suddenly she regretted having removed his sunglasses when he was being prepped for surgery. The look in his eyes was borderline feral, and she realized he must be reliving his wife's death.

She moved back slowly, hoping she could reach a sedative if he attacked. At the same time, she kept talking to him, hoping that the sound of her voice and the repetition of his name would bring him around.

"Deacon, talk to me, baby. Do you know where you are? You're safe, D. You're safe. No one is going to hurt you, and I know you don't want to hurt anyone."

He had stopped yelling, and the silence was honestly just as concerning. He still had a wild look like his eyes as he looked around the room, but she doubted he was actually seeing anything. 

"D?"

He looked right at her as she spoke, then, just as suddenly as everything had started, he fell back on the bed and just like that he was asleep again. If he had ever been awake to begin with. She hurried back to him and laid a hand on his chest, relieved as she felt it moving as he took a breath. She sat on the bedside for a moment and made sure he was indeed asleep, then she laid down alongside him, gently sliding her shoulder under his head as she pulled him in closer to her.

"Stay. Please." he said quietly as a slung an arm over her waist. Since he still seemed to be sleeping, she didn't know if he was talking to her or to his murdered wife. Either way, she decided the best course of action was too just answer.

"Go back to sleep," she whispered before she kissed his forehead. "I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

That seemed to satisfy him, and she could tell by his breathing pattern that he was slipping back into a deep sleep. Gradually she matched her breathing pattern to his, resting her hand on his chest as her other hand rested on his back. Comeditation, the ancient Buddhist monks had called it, and it was something they used to ease the fears and anxiety of the sick and dying. It had a couple of more cheerful, more fun uses, but it had been primarily used to calm people. They both needed all the calm they could get right now.


	19. I Can't Feel My Face

Deacon was on the fringes of becoming aware of his surroundings, and the first thing he noticed was soft arms around him.

"Barbara." He thought sleepily. He tried to open his eyes so he could look at her, but they were still heavy with sleep. "Ok, then, just enjoy the moment." He really loved watching her sleep; the slight curve of her lips, just a hint of satisfied smile as she nestled in to him; her wild, curly hair falling across her face. Damn he really wanted to open his eyes. The heaviness, though... So much like a hangover.

Hangover. Chems. Drug hangover. No, no, no. If this was a dream, he wanted to stay. He didn't want to wake up to a world without his Barbara. But damn it, the shock of the realization was already pushing him back to the real world.

"Deacon?"

His eyes shot open in alarm, but he remained frozen in place. He found that his head was resting on Nora's shoulder. Damn it. It was a chem hangover, and there was no telling what had happened. She had clearly been comforting him, but why? 

Not that he minded holding her or being held by her. Nora was gorgeous inside and out. He just... He didn't like getting close to people. Bad things happened when he got close to people.

"Say something, darlin'. Are you awake?"

There was a tinge of fear in her voice, and that bothered him. The med-x. Had he reacted badly to it? What had he done?

She rested her hand on his face and began stroking his cheek while she waited for him to answer. She had done that a lot over the past two days, and while he never considered himself the touchy-feely type, he found himself looking forward to the times when her hand rested on his face. That could really throw a wrench in the works. Come on, Deacon, he thought. Get hold of yourself. Back to normal.

"Nora?"

She smiled with relief. "There you are. How do you feel?"

"I..." he lifted his head off her shoulder and looked around. "I'm not really sure. What happened?"

"I think you're finally out of the woods. Haylen has checked on you a few times, but you've been sleeping pretty heavily. You didn't even budge when she pulled the chest catheter out."

Deacon shuddered involuntarily, and she pulled him in closer to to her in response. He wasn't sure why he allowed it, but he did. He would allow himself a few minutes of comfort, even if he never let it happen again.

"I think you had a nightmare at one point. Are you OK?"

"Nightmare? Did I.... did I say.... anything?"

"You were yelling, but I couldn't understand what you were saying."

Deacon sighed as he dropped his head on her shoulder again and closed his eyes. "I don't remember."

It was a lie. He knew it. She knew it. Thankfully she let it pass.

"Why don't we rest a bit more? We're going to try to get out today. The stimpaks should have you good as new, but rest can't hurt."

He wouldn't argue with that one. He really, REALLY hated chems, and he definitely still had a med-x hangover. Maybe if he slept a little more, he could just get back to being Deacon, Railroad agent, spy, and partner to the most stubborn woman in the universe.


	20. Under Your Scars

Nora wasn't sure when she fell asleep, and she wasn't sure if she had actually relaxed enough to fall asleep or if it was pure exhaustion and her body finally just decided enough was enough.

She could, however, pinpoint the exact moment she woke up. She felt the softest kiss, and as she gave in to it she let her hands start to wander.

"Mmm, good morning to you, too."

She opened her eyes, still in that half asleep state expecting to see Nate. Instead, she saw Deacon and she was suddenly wide awake, slammed firmly back into reality. He looked just as surprised as her, and pulled his hands back from her like he had been burned.

"God, Nora, I'm so sorry. I thought..."

"It's OK, Deacon. I know what you thought... I'm pretty sure I was in the same sleepy headspace."

He still looked stricken, but he didn't pull away when she did her usual resting her palm on the side of his face and stroking his cheek with her thumb. She briefly wondered when she had started doing that, but it seemed she had been doing that little action forever. It always managed to work to calm him when he was upset. She had come to realize that Deacon needed to be touched, was almost starved for it in fact. He would never admit it, certainly would never ask for it, and she knew he would completely shut down if they talked about it. So, she settled for little things like this. A touch to his cheek, a squeeze of his shoulder, little things that would be innocuous and innocent enough to fill this need for him but not cause him to retreat into himself.

"Kind of sucks, doesn't it?" he finally said.

"What does?"

"The Murdered Spouse Club. Membership includes survivor guilt, nightmares, and an unhealthy dose of PTSD."

She smiled grimly. "It does suck," she said quietly. "But I try to think of what he would want me to do... and Nate would want me to keep going. I didn't know Barbara, but I'm betting she'd want you to keep going as well. We've each had our revenge, and now all that's left is our grief. I say we harness it, use our experiences keep others from going through this. The Institute is gone, but we certainly have plenty to do to."

Deacon flopped over on his back and stared at the ceiling for a moment.

"Why do you have to always make so much damned sense?"

She shrugged. "I was a lawyer. What can I say? I know how to argue a case."

She sat up and pulled her boots back on, then stood.

"Shall we go see if the others are awake? Do you need a few minutes?"

Deacon shook his head. "No. But, uh, one question."

"Yeah?"

"What the hell did you guys do with my shirt? I know the sight of me shirtless must have given everyone a thrill, but I'm feeling a bit exposed."

Nora laughed and walked over to a table and picked up his shirt and threw it at him.

"Take your time. I'll meet you in the next room."


	21. If Everyone Cared

Danse sat at the console by the blast door, busying himself running diagnostics while he waited for the others to stir. He had relieved Rhys a couple of hours ago, insisting that the knight at least try to sleep. Rhys didn't exactly like taking orders from a synth, and in truth he didn't have to considering Danse was no longer his commanding officer... or an officer, period. He had to give Rhys credit, though; the man still treated him with respect, most likely due to their history together and possibly to avoid conflict with Scribe Haylen.

Danse didn't know if he would be able to be so generous, had the situations been reversed. Hell, he was still adjusting to accepting himself as a synth. He couldn't exactly expect Rhys to just abandon years of Brotherhood indoctrination overnight. So far the only people who had accepted him unconditionally were Haylen and Nora.

He was so deep in thought that he barely registered when Nora walked in.

"Nora. How is your friend?"

"He seems to be nearly back to 100%. I think he'll be good to go if we get a chance to make a run for it." She spared a glance towards the door. "Any news?"

Danse shook his head. "It's been quiet. Knight Rhys reported much the same. I doubt they're gone, though. You killed at least two of them. They'll not likely forget that."

"The tunnel that Haylen and Rhys entered through...where does it come out?"

"Malden Middle School," Deacon answered as he walked into the room. He shrugged when they both just stared at him. "It was installed pre-war in order to give the children at the school an escape route should some idiot start a nuclear war. The Railroad used the tunnel to move synths to safety until the Brotherhood found the bunker."

"So, we take our chances with the raiders, or we risk running into supermutants and/or ferals. Is that what the you're telling me?"

"That's about the size of it." Deacon replied. 

"How are you feeling, my friend?" Danse asked.

Again Deacon shrugged. "I still feel like I partied a bit too hard with the chems, but my head is clearing."

"They were necessary, D, and you know it."

He shot Nora a look over the top of his sunglasses, and she winked at him.

Danse's only response was to hand him a container of purified water.

"You should eat something too," he added.

Deacon shook his head. "I'm afraid I'd just throw up. Once the med-x wears completely off, maybe I'll try."

He did take a sip of water as he studied the former Brotherhood paladin.

"You know, I know you said you're still getting used to... your new sense of self. I know people who can help you adjust. If you want, that is."

Danse looked surprised, but his expression immediately went noncommittal again..

"I'll... keep that in mind, Deacon. Thank you for the offer."

Deacon leaned against a wall and folded his arms in front of him. "Don't mention it. It's what I do, after all. If you decide you want to take me up on the offer, Nora knows how to get hold of me."

Danse nodded again. This was going to take some getting used to... not only learning to not despise himself for what he was, but realized that there were people who wouldn't automatically despise him.


	22. It's Not Over

It was almost noon when Rhys and Haylen joined the others. Little more had happened than some light cuddling, and even though Rhys was sure no one would care, he was determined to not make it seem as though Haylen was merely a conquest.

He found himself more and more in awe of her. Her drive to collect technology for the Brotherhood was relentless, and for such a little thing she was a force to be reckoned with. When he had gone down in battle, she and Paladin Danse had fought the onslaught of ferals with an almost berserker rage. She took care of him as best as she could, in between killing the attacking ferals. She actually maneuvered frequently to get between him and a feral, and she probably would have been a goner if Nora had not shown up.

He'd given Nora a hard time at first. He even overheard Haylen telling her to just give him time and he would come around. They'd just been through so much, had lost so many of their numbers, he was concerned she was just a mercenary who would turn on them at a moment's notice. He had been wrong. Very, very wrong. He hoped that making this run with Haylen made up for some of his attitude.

"What's the situation as of now, Paladin?" He asked, speaking directly to Nora.

"Well, I'm pretty sure Deacon is almost 100% back to being himself,"

"Oh wow, that's terrible." Rhys joked

"As far as our raider friends? Waiting game." she continued, not acknowledging his remark. "If we could boost the radio signal I may be able to call in the Minutemen for help."

"No offense, but do you think they can stand against a group of raiders?"

"Don't forget, Rhys, we not only reclaimed the Castle by fighting off countless mirelurks and a mirelurk queen, but we, with Deacon's help, defended it against a major Institute offensive. After which we took the fight to the Institute, and won, lest you forget that part."

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I wasn't trying to criticize..."

"You were. And that's ok. I want criticism when it's needed. I'll always take it into consideration."

Rhys grinned. "It really isn't my life's mission to make your life miserable, I promise."

Nora walked over to Rhys and gave a playful shoulder punch..  
"I believe you. Besides, I've come to think that is Deacon's job. He certainly seems determined to age me about 400x faster than I should."

"The feeling is mutual, doll." Deacon quipped.

Nora laughed. Yeah, they were still trapped. But all the big egos were in check, and it seemed things were heading back to normal. Well, as normal as a post-nuclear world could be.


	23. How You Remind Me

Haylen and Danse went to work on boosting the signal while Rhys stayed up front on watch. Nora pulled out her backpack and began checking her supplies. She had become an expert scavenger in the year since leaving the vault, and she figured she might possibly have something that could help. She was so intent on her work that it was a while before she realized that Deacon had wandered off. She looked around the room and caught Rhys's eye. He merely shrugged and gestured with his thumb towards the back rooms.

She got up and walked into the room where the beds were and found him sitting at a desk, clearly deep in thought. Not wanting to make it obvious that she was checking on him, she made a turn into the bathroom and pulled open the medicine cabinet, fumbled around with the contents, then closed it up without taking anything and walked back out.

"Find anything useful?"

Damn it. She could tell by his tone that he knew she was checking on him. Still, she tried to play it off.

"Not yet." she said. "We're working on it. I thought there might be some bobby pins in there."

He tilted his head forward and looked at her over the top of his sunglasses.

"There were female soldiers 200 years ago, y'know. They'd have to keep their hair in a regulation style."

He continued to just look at her in silence.

"Ok, Ok. I came back here to see how you were doing. God, you'd think I'd be better at bullshitting after hanging around you for so long."

"I thought lawyers were supposed to know how to do that anyway."

She walked over to him and leaned against the desk where he was sitting.

"Yes. But I never got past Bullshit 101. The ethics classes kind of cancelled that out."

"Ouch. Good one." he said as he smiled at her, the first genuine smile she'd seen since the attack yesterday.

"So are we ok? Do you forgive me?"

Deacon laughed. "What atrocity have you committed that you're worried I won't forgive you?"

"I know you didn't want the med-x. But I was so afraid that if you..."

"Hey, hey." he interrupted, standing and pulling her into a hug. "I get it. I understand. I should be the one apologizing for being a pain in the ass."

She pulled back and held him at arm's length, studying him before she answered.

"Deacon, if you ever stop being a pain in the ass, I'm going to suspect that some faction of the Institute survived and that they have replaced you with a synth."

"Duly noted." he said as he sat back down. "So, what's the plan? Are we going to fight the raiders, or take the tunnel and take our chances with supermutants and ferals?"

Nora shrugged. "If we can boost that radio signal and get some backup, we'll be leaving through the front door."

Deacon looked relieved. "Good choice. I'll take humans over the others any day. Aaaand why do you look worried?"

"This is a bunker. Which means it was built to withstand a nuclear blast. That means..." 

"The best chance at transmission is outside. Which is also where the nice people who are in a murderous rage are located."

"Bingo. We'd need to... wait. Deacon! You're a genius!"

She leaned forward and pulled him close enough to give him a kiss, then ran from the room.


	24. Cut The Cord

Deacon sat and watched Nora run out of the room. He liked to think he was a genius, of course, but her reaction had stunned him. For one thing, he didn't know why she suddenly got so excited about going outside where the possibility of being murdered in epic fashion was so high.

Second... that kiss. That was more than just a quick peck on the lips for gratitude. That was a real kiss. It was quick, but it was a real kiss, and he found that he liked it. He liked it, and he didn't like that he liked it. Getting too attached to people... he couldn't go through that again. He couldn't put her through that. He realized that in physical years her husband had died 200 years ago, but for her... Nate had only been gone about a year, because for her, his murder happened right before she woke up the second time. She had reminded Deacon of that fact during their... discussion.... yesterday. 

For both of them, their grief was too fresh. Besides, in their line of work, having a lover could be dangerous. Not only could it cloud judgment, but enemies could use that against you. He knew that all too well, he realized bitterly.

"Shut it down, Deacon. Shut it down." he warned himself. The mere fact that a simple kiss had caused him to go down this road in his thoughts meant that it was probably time to just bug out. It was an asshole thing to do, but, hey, he was an asshole. 

He would help them out of this predicament, especially since it was at least partially BECAUSE of him that they were trapped here. Then, he'd maybe talk Des into letting him set up a satellite office for the Railroad. The Institute was done, but there were still plenty of synths who needed help. Maybe he could take some of them out of the Commonwealth, help them get set up somewhere new. Or, he could scout out locations for safe houses and settlements. He had ideas aplenty.

And if Des disagreed? He still had the option of just leaving for good.

OK, tentative plan in place. Now to go up front and see what he could do to help their current situation.


	25. Not Afraid

When Deacon returned to the front area of the bunker, Nora was excitedly telling Danse and Haylen about the idea that he had apparently inspired. The one he'd heard everyone call Rhys was sitting at one of the terminals looking very bored. Or angry. He wasn't sure which. He supposed men could get Resting Bitch Face too. Hell, HE probably had Resting Bitch Face himself.

"So what do you think, Haylen?" Nora was saying. "Is it doable?"

"Oh, certainly doable. Dangerous, though. But, then, so is breathing in this day and age."

Deacon fought a smirk. He liked this one. That was really saying something considering that she had been the one to essentially drill a small hole in his chest. But then, he supposed he had always been one for torture.

Haylen gave him a bright smile as she noticed him.

"Hey there, Blue Eyes. How are you feeling?"

"Never better, thanks to you and the boss here."

"Glad to hear it. And I didn't even have to threaten to shoot you to get you to hold still." she said, giving Rhys a teasing bump with her hip as she walked past him. Rhys merely rolled his eyes, although Deacon did notice at least a hint of a smile afterwards.

"So what's this plan I so ingeniously inspired?"

"There's a terminal on the other side of the blast door." Haylen explained as her fingers began flying across the keyboard at one of the consoles. "Danse disabled it as soon as you were all safely inside, so the raiders couldn't hack into it and open the door. I can turn it back on from here, and we can try to route our signal through it and call in the cavalry."

"A very specific cavalry." Nora interjected. "The Brotherhood is out of the question. Not only would it be an immediate death sentence for Danse, but these two could be court martialed just for knowing where we are, let alone helping a synth and a Railroad agent."

"So that leaves... the Minutemen? How are we going to send out a distress signal that excludes the Brotherhood?"

"The same way you got us here." Rhys said. "By using a frequency that the Brotherhood no longer uses."

"Ah. I think I was busy trying to not die when you showed up, so the details are a bit sketchy for me."

"I've worked out a code with Preston that's kind of like Morse code, but based on a matrix system."

"Should I pretend I know what that means?"

Nora grinned.

"I know you're not a mathmetician, but you are a history buff. And you're a spy. You should understand basic codebreaking, my dear."

"Of course I do. I was just, uh, testing you. Because I'm responsible for training you."

"Right. Right. Maybe you should rest a bit more. Your BS game is far below par. I don't think the med-x has cleared your system yet. Bottom line is, we send this code to the communication center at The Castle. Preston can hopefully send someone to help."

Deacon thought for a minute. "Put in a word for Tinker, too. He's always listening for these types of things. Maybe he can convince Des to send Glory as well." Then he looked at Danse, who had been silent this whole time. "Are you OK with us throwing this party at your place?"

"My priority is making sure you all are safe. I can deal with any possible blowback afterwards."

Deacon nodded. "All right, then. Let's get this party started."


	26. Fall Into Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deacon was ordered to get some more rest before they open the gates of hell... probably in a more literal sense than any of them realize.
> 
> The problem with Deacon resting is... well, his thoughts get too loud.

"It'll be a while before we're ready to try this, hon. I know you're feeling better, but go get some more rest." Nora urged as she gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Give your system a little more time to burn off the last of the med-x."

"I'm really fine, boss," he began, but stopped as she narrowed her eyes at him, one of the telltale signs that she was about to pull rank on him. Kind of odd that he'd let her do that, he realized, since, after all, he was supposed to be HER mentor.

"You really are determined to fight me every step of the way, aren't you?"

"Well, I AM a professional pain in the ass. I can't be remiss in my duties."

"Oh, you aren't, don't worry." she responded, winking at him. "But I'm also not asking you to do this. I'm telling you. And before you start arguing that I can't pull rank on you because I don't outrank you, I will remind you that I am at _least_ 200 years older than you are, and you should respect your elders."

_Damn, I've taught her too well._ he thought. He started to make a crack about her age, but figured he'd probably had enough near death experiences in the last day or so. She kept her stern gaze on him for another few seconds, as if reading his thoughts, then her face softened again. Must be a pre-war thing, he figured. Or a mom thing. Or a pre-war mom thing. 

His thoughts were cut short as she pulled him into a hug and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

"Do it for me." she whispered before pulling away. Then, louder, she added, "I'll come get you when the action starts. I promise." 

_Well, hell. How could he say no to that._

"Lucky for you I can't resist a pretty face." he said as he started walking away from her. He heard her laughing as he disappeared into the hallway. He actually made it to one of the back rooms before he let out a long, slow exhale in an attempt to get his heart rate to slow back down. God that woman was going to be the death of him. 


	27. I'll Come For You

Maccready was taking a turn at watch at the Castle and was beginning to wonder how he let himself get talked into helping out at this creepy old fort. Nora could have asked him to go to any settlement in the Commonwealth, but she sent him here. Why on earth did he agree to it?

Even as he asked himself the question, he knew the answer. He would do anything for Nora. She had been the first person to show him any true kindness since Lucy had died. After all she had done for him... getting him off the Gunners' radar, helping him retrieve the cure for Duncan's illness... and all without judging him even after he laid the truth out there for her about who he was and what he had done... he would go through molten lava for her.

Or go to a creepy ancient fort where his chances of being lunch for a mirelurk were significantly increased. At least he had pulled a daytime watch. If he was going to be a mirelurk snack he would at least see it coming. Honestly, though, he wasn't sure if that made him feel better or worse. He decided the answer was yes.

He had just started to walk to the next position on the wall when he saw the guy manning the radio stand up suddenly. He watched with interest as the Minuteman started yelling for someone to go get Ronnie. A civilian tending the crops ran into the Castle, presumably to get the commanding officer of the fort.

Sure enough, the CO of the Castle came running out and headed straight to the communication station. He wished his hearing was as good as his eyesight; he could do some lip reading, but not enough to be useful. He made out the words "distress signal", but that was about it. 

He started making his way down the ruined part of the wall in what he hoped was a casual manner, and he caught Ronnie's eye as he was walking up to the pair. He couldn't read her face. Ronnie was a battle hardened soldier with the best poker face he'd ever seen.

"Something I can help with, Ronnie?"

He did see a flicker of what was almost a smirk before she got it under control.

"You must be psychic, kid. I can see why the general likes you so much."

Now it was Maccready's turn to pull out his best poker face. He felt himself flush with a bit of pleasure and embarrassment with the suggestion that Nora liked him, but he pushed it down. Time to be the soldier he had told Lucy he was.

"I try, ma'am. What's the situation?"

"We just picked up a distress call on a rarely used frequency. A coded message in something like a pre-war Morse code."

The hair on the back of his neck stood up at the mention of the term pre-war. Whatever it was, it HAD to be Nora.

"Coordinates?"

"Yes. We have coordinates and a request for evac with a medical situation. We've put out a call to any available Minutemen to meet near Malden Middle School."

Maccready paled at the mention of a medical evac. So help him, if anyone had harmed her or Deacon... and did he REALLY just have a hint of concern for a man who was essentially a rival for Nora's attention?

"I know where that is. If I'm not needed here..."

NOW Ronnie smirked and didn't even try to hide it.

"Go on, son. Go bring her back to us."

She didn't have to tell him twice.


	28. Round Up The Boys

MacCready gathered a few supplies from the footlocker he was using, then made a stop by the weapons cache to see if there was anything useful. He was most comfortable with his personal sniper rifle, of course. That baby had been modded to perfection by him and would always be his weapon of choice. There were situations where a pistol would be better, though, and for that he had an old Smith and Wesson .45 that Nora had repaired and improve upon for him, telling him stories about an old movie that was well before even her time that had apparently been one of her husband's favorites. _Do you feel lucky?_ , she had asked him jokingly as she had given it to him. _Well, do you, punk?_

He checked in with Ronnie one more time before he headed out. He didn't work for her, but he knew her well enough to make her think that his going after them was her idea.

"I've radioed Garvey to meet you with as many men as he can spare at Malden Middle School. You know where that is?"

"I do." He prepared himself for her to make a joke about sending him to school, but she let it pass. Apparently his sniping skills had been enough to get her to move past his age and making jokes about her having already enlisted when he was in diapers. He was glad. That had gotten old, fast.

He started making his way in the direction of the middle school when he decided he needed to make one quick stop in the way. Goodneighbor was close enough, and he could trade a few things with Daisy before joining the others, and possibly enlist the help of Mayor Hancock. The ghoul would probably do it just because he was a little sweet on Nora himself. Not that he could blame him. Most people who met that woman wound up in one of two camps. They underestimated her or they got a crush on her. The former group had a lower life expectancy.


	29. Bad Liar

Deacon admitted to himself that he was being a bit of a sulky asshole as he retreated back to the bed and proceeded to lay down. Nora was right, of course. The stimpaks had him almost back to 100%., but that med-x was sticking around in his system. He'd always hated the stuff, had always reacted badly to it. Yet, for some reason, he was ashamed to tell Nora that. He'd told her about the lynching he had taken part of, for the love of all that is holy. It didn't get much worse than willing participation in a murder. No amount of good would ever settle the score for that one. But the chem situation? That just seemed so much worse.

_Deacon felt the warmth of the sun on his skin as he made his rounds on the little bit of property he had staked out. It felt good, really good... better than he had any right to feel. When he had left the UP Deathclaws, he never thought he would feel warm ever again. He was a murderer. Maybe he didn't put the rope around the man's neck, but he had gotten in his fair share of punches, even a few kicks. Then someone brought out a rope, and in that instance he knew they had gone too far._

"Are you really checking up on me already?"

Deacon opened one eye and glared at Nora. He'd been back here for all of 2 minutes.

"You left your water up front; I just wanted to bring it to you." She sat down on the bed as he scooted over to make room for her. She was smiling, but it was one of her forced "I hope to hell this looks genuine" smiles. "Take a sip. The water will help get the stuff out of your system quicker."

He leaned up on one elbow and made a big exaggerated show of taking a drink of water, then recapped it and placed it on the cabinet at the head of the bed. "See, I'm being a good boy."

"Oh, I'm sure you'd love for us to think that." She reached out to touch his face, like she had so many times over the past few days, but to his disappointment decided on a mission abort and instead tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. He must really be giving off some fuck off vibe for her to do that. She was trying to curb her mothering instinct, he realized. Or she was afraid she was getting on his nerves.

"You do know I'm not mad about the med-x, right? I know why you insisted, and I'm ok with it." He lowered himself back onto the bed, and as he rolled to one side to face her, he reached out and took her hand, placing it on his cheek with his hand on top of hers. He looked at her silently for a moment, then let his hand slide lightly down to her wrist once he was sure she wasn't going to move.

"I know. But I know how you feel about chems and I hate that they were necessary." Her thumb started it's gentle moving back and forth, and he forced down a sigh of relief. He liked it when she did that, but at the same time he didn't want her to know that he liked it. Blame it on the spy in him. 

She noticed his hesitation and apparently misread it, because she started to pull her hand away. He closed his hand lightly around her wrist to keep her hand there. 

"It's OK." He assured her. "I haven't wanted to admit it, but I like it when you touch me. I don't mean anything improper, it's just. ." he hesitated, trying to find the exact phrasing he needed. "I'm a jerk. I know I'm a jerk and I come off as not needing anyone. But truth is, I do. I'm just... God I don't even know what I'm trying to say."

Nora raised an eyebrow, but kept stroking his cheek and made no motion to remove his hand from her wrist.

"All right, sweet boy, no more med-x for you for sure. That silver tongue of yours isn't operating at full capacity. You definitely need to sleep a little more."

She leaned in to kiss his cheek and he turned his head and meet her lips straight on. She let out a little whimper of surprise but didn't pull back. When he finally let her up for air he grinned at her.

"How's that for operating at full capacity?"

She smirked and blushed.

"I'll make you a deal. You get some sleep, and if you still want to do that again after the med-x has left your system completely and we get out of here alive, then we'll see."

"You think that was the med-x taking?"

"Well, I'm sure your inhibitions are lowered..."

"I have inhibitions?"

"And I don't want to be guilty of sexual assault. So rest. Drink some more water. Sleep. Then we'll, ah, talk."

She didn't give him a chance to respond as she stood, winking at him as she left the room. He flopped back onto his back and let out a long, slow breath.

"What are you doing, Deacon?" he said under his breath. "What the fuck are you doing?"


	30. Power Of Live

Nora stopped in the walkway between the front and back sections of the bunker and leaned against the rock wall to regain her equilibrium. She'd played it cool in front of Deacon, or at least she hoped she had, but.. wow. She was not expecting that kiss.

It wasn't even like it was anything hot and heavy. More like a first date drop-you-off-at-the-door kiss. Those butterflies, though...she hadn't felt those butterflies since…since Nate.

There was that tug at her heart at the thought of her husband. Somehow, although both Nate and Barbara were gone, it almost felt like cheating. But it wasn't. Was it?

She would always love Nate. She was sure Deacon would always love Barbara. But did that mean there wasn't room for more love? 

"Everything OK, Paladin?"

She opened her eyes to see Rhys standing in front of her, looking at her curiously.

"Just tired, Rhys. Thank you."

He looked doubtful, but thankfully didn't question it further. Instead, he nodded towards the back room.

"How's he doing?"

"Much better, just still a little loopy. Scribe Haylen saved his life." She hesitated before continuing, knowing that Rhys wasn't chatty type, nor was he generally the nosy type. "I really appreciate you coming to help. I know that this entire situation has been...a lot to take in."

Rhys merely shrugged. "I wasn't going to let Haylen walk into a potential firefight on her own. Besides, I have a lot to make up to you..."

"No you don't..."

"And you are one of us. In short, you need me, I'm there."

Nora's mouth twitched as she stifled a smirk. 

"I appreciate that, Knight. The feeling is mutual."

He straightened up and brought his arm across his chest in salute.

"Ad victorium, Paladin."

He held the position until she returned the salute, them continued on to whatever his purpose had been before speaking to her. Haylen was right...that kid practically bled Brotherhood. It actually made his general jerk persona more bearable, if not outright endearing. 

Enough psychoanalyzing, she decided. If they were going to get out of here in-tact, she needed to focus on the business at hand. Taking a deep breath, she began heading back to towards the front.


	31. Like I'm Going To Loose You

Hancock had just taken a hit of Jet as he was overlooking his balcony when he noticed the the kid come through the gate. Maccready had been gone from Goodneighbor for quite some time, and in all honestly Hancock had kind of missed the wiry little bastard. He might just have to pay a visit to the Third Rail in a bit, grace the sniper with his presence and catch up on old times.

He chuckled to himself at the thought of "old times". Maccready was so young that last month could be considered old times; he was only in his mid twenties if he was a day. Those few years had been tough on the boy, though, and Hancock almost felt sorry for anyone who underestimated him because of his youth. Almost.

"Hancock."

Hancock turned to see Fahrenheit standing in the doorway to the balcony.

"Thought I gave you the night off, sweet cheeks."

"I'm headed out. Just wanted you to know that merc kid is here."

"Maccready? Yeah, I saw him come through the gate. Thought about heading down to the Third Rail."

"If it's to see him, don't bother. He's here, and he's asked to see you. I left him downstairs, figured I'd let you make the decision."

Hancock nodded absently. He almost forgot Fahrenheit was there until she cleared her throat to get his attention.

"Send him on up, doll. And get on out of here, would ya?"

"You don't think I should stay?"

"Because of Maccready? No. He and I are good. Besides, if he was going to kill me, he wouldn't be this close."

"True. I'll send him on up."

The redhead turned and left the room, and he heard her heavy power armored footsteps descending the stairs. He knew he wouldn't hear Mac coming up the stairs...the merc was deadly silent when he walked. Quite funny when you considered how mouthy the kid was.

"Maccready. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about our little town. Let's celebrate. What's your poison?"

"Maybe later, Hancock. Right now I need your help."

Hancock walked over to his liquor cabinet and started pouring a glass of bourbon.

"Those Gunners bothering you again? I'll take care of them, no problem. C'mon, take the edge off. It'll do you good."

"No, you don't understand. Nora is in trouble."

Hancock froze momentarily, glass half way to his mouth. Well, if that wasn't a buzz kill. He quickly threw back the glass and swallowed the smooth burning liquid.

"I'm listening."

Mac filled him in on the situation from the distress signal.

"Kind of an altered Morse Code. Pre-war stuff. You know, like our girl."

"So what are we waiting for? You know where she is, let's go get her."


	32. I Was Sent To Warn You The Devil's Right Beside You

Rhys held his salute firm until Nora returned it. The show of respect was important to him. He knew Nora wouldn't think so, but he had a lot to make up for to that woman.

He had told her when he first met her that if she placed any of his brothers and sisters in harm's way, he would personally make sure she regretted it. Well, she had done the exact opposite and through her actions had become one of his sisters. She had saved their assess multiple times. He kept sending her on increasingly difficult missions, and each time she had come back successful and ready for more. He actually tried to remain distant and suspicious... all he'd ever known in life before the Brotherhood was disappointment, after all...but she just kept succeeding, damn it. He finally had to admit he had been wrong about her after she organized an attack on the Institute with the Minutemen and the Railroad and succeeded. 

All out of a mother's love. He couldn't imagine what she must be going through... trapped, seeing her husband murdered and her baby kidnapped, then waking up to find a very different world from the one she knew, a world full of monsters that she could not possibly have imagined when she had been frozen.

It was small wonder she had embraced the Brotherhood and its mission. At the same time, she had not lost her humanity, nor had she become a bigot in the process. He now recognized that he was on the fast track to becoming just that. He knew that he would not have hesitated to put down Danse had Elder Maxson ordered him to do so; Danse, the same man he had served under with pride, the same man who had saved his life several times over the years...he would have instantly considered him a machine and would have willingly just shut him down, disregarding all previous history with him. Danse would have become just a program to him, just like that.

That part... that was the part that had made him realize he might need to rethink his stance. Yes, some of Paladin Danse's memories might very well be programming. All of the events since Rhys had meet him, though? Those were real. There was no more black and white. Everything...everything was all gray area.

He was so deep in his thoughts that by the time he got to the back area of the bunker, he had forgotten what he had come there to do. Or get. Damn, he really should ask for a furlough. He had spent so much time being in high alert in this godforsaken part of the country, he was starting to slip. If he wasn't at a reasonable state of battle-readiness, he could become a liability rather than an asset. Overconfidence killed.

Speaking of which...

"I thought you were supposed to be sleeping?"

The Railroad agent was sitting cross legged on the bed, arms crossed in front of him as he leaned against the wall. The agent let out a heavy sigh.

"Don't you start."

Rhys suppressed a smirk, and tried to discretely follow Deacon's gaze...well, as much as he could tell. The only time he'd ever seen the man without them on was during the impromptu surgery, and Rhys was sure that Deacon was already so out of it from the pain he was in that he hadn't even noticed Nora taking them off of him. Rhys looked in the general direction and saw a few Stealth Boys on a cabinet. He looked back at Deacon and raised an eyebrow, unable to keep the anger from surfacing. He was thinking about ditching them. They were all trapped and in danger because of him, and he was going to ghost them first chance he got. The words Rhys had said to Nora when he first met her echoed in his head.

Only two things kept him from rushing this piece of shit and beating him to a pulp. One, he wouldn't stoop so low as to attack an injured man who hadn't attacked him first, even if the stimpaks had him almost back to 100%. Two, Nora liked this guy for some reason. She had gone through hell to keep him alive. Rhys wasn't going to be the one to disappoint her. And, just like with his opinion of gen 3 synths, he could be wrong. He doubted it in this instance, but...

"Dude, if I wanted to be gone, trust me, I'd be gone." 

Rhys tried to hide his surprise as he shrugged. "Whatever." 

Deacon tilted his head forward and looked at him over the top of those infuriating shades. "As you so elegantly put it when the ladies were preparing to cut me open, I don't give a rat's ass what the outcome is... for anyone here except for _her_. And I'll make an exception for the scribe because she saved my life. And... you know what, just imagine me saying something witty here, because I'm too tired to come up with something representative of my talents."

"I wouldn't go there, son." Rhys growled. "I really wouldn't. Bottom line is, we came here to help Nora and Danse; any benefit to you is purely gravy."

"Danse? The one who took us in? The one that the Brotherhood would kill on sight? That Danse? The one YOU would have killed on sight, despite everything he's done for you. The one that people like me risk our lives to save? That's the Danse you're referring to?"

Deacon stood and took a step towards Rhys. Rhys didn't budge. He didn't really want to hit an injured man, but if Deacon stuck first, all bets were off. 

OK. Maybe he did want to hit this particular injured man. They were about to find out.


	33. Beat It

When Nora returned to the front, Danse was typing away at one of the terminals; reprogramming the outside terminal remotely, she assumed. Scribe Haylen looked to be working on wiring up some contraption to boost the signal. Danse looked up as Nora entered.

"Did you see Knight Rhys on your way up?"

"He was headed to one of the supply rooms, I believe..."

Danse suddenly hurried past her down the hall and it dawned on her...she had left two of the biggest egos on the planet in the same room together. That was not a good idea.

She turned around to follow Danse and hurried back to their impromptu sick room. It took Nora about two seconds to sniff out trouble between the two men.

"Are we already having a pissing contest already, boys? Seriously?"

Sorry, Paladins." Rhys saluted again, this time holding until both Nora and Danse returned it.

Deacon did a fake, dramatic "ma'am yes ma'am." Danse held back a smirk as he pushed Rhys face forward against the wall, holding the knight there with his own body weight. Nora couldn't hear what was being said, but Danse was talking earnestly and curiously enough, Rhys seemed to be relaxing a bit. Now to work on her own pressure cooker.

"I didn't start it." Deacon said in his defense..

""I know you didn't."

"I just... wait, what?

She put her hands on his shoulders and walked him backwards until they reached the bed.

"Sit." she commanded, and surprisingly he did just that; no complaints, no dramatic sigh, no smartass remark. Sitting down beside him, she reached over and gave his hand a squeeze.

"So what did start it?"

Deacon shrugged. "Honestly, I have no idea. I was sitting here, he walked in, and... well, you saw for yourself. Pretty sure punches were about to be thrown."

Nora heard Danse clear his throat to get her attention, and she looked up to see that he had sent Rhys out of the room.

"Take as much time as you need. I'll let you know when you're needed up front."

He left the room without waiting for a response, and Nora returned her attention to Deacon.

"Rhys can be...difficult at times."

"Let me guess, he's just a big teddy bear underneath his gruff façade?"

"Well, I wouldn't go THAT far. He doesn't trust easily. I realize you probably know NOTHING about that..."

"Am I rubbing off on you, or have you always been such a sarcastic wench?"

"My point is he's rude, standoffish, and an all around ass, but once he somewhat trusts you, he'd give his life protecting you."

Deacon thought about this for a moment. "He thinks I'm going to ditch you. Knowing he's being protective of you makes it a little easier to take his attitude."

"And are you planning on ditching us?"

"You know the answer to that. I'm with you as long as you want me around. And... why are you looking at me like that?"

"I don't know. It's kind of surreal. You just...talking, not spouting out random bullshit, not telling me some fantastic tale to try to distract me from who you really are."

"Did it ever really work, though?"

"Well, no, not really."

"And did you ever believe I was a synth?"

"Not for a hot second."

"Why did you go along with it?"

"Well, you were keeping me alive. You were keeping me entertained, even at my lowest point. I figured you had your reasons, and you would tell me if and when you were ready "

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Nora acutely aware of Deacon's hand in hers. She'd given him that first reassuring squeeze, then left her hand lightly atop his. He'd made no effort to remove his hand from hers. Finally Deacon spoke.

"While we're on the subject of being much more honest with each other than we probably should be, can I ask you something?

"I, uh...OK. Sure."

"When I kissed you earlier, was that... was it OK?"  
.  
Nora grinned at him. "Still wanting to prove that it wasn't the med-x?"

"If it's ok with you. To quote a wise woman I heard once, I don't want to be guilty of sexual assault."

In response she leaned forward and started a teasing kiss, relishing it when she pulled back and he groaned in frustration.

"When we're in more private quarters, we'll answer that question. For now, Try to rest some, sweetie."

"Yes, ma'am." 

"I'll be right up front if you need me."

He laid down, giving her a pouty puppy dog look as she walked out of the room. She heard him groan in frustration before the door closed and she smiled to herself. The anticipation was going to be half the fun.


	34. Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Danse headed back to the front of the bunker and found Rhys waiting for him in the hall.

"Do you mind telling me what that was about, Knight?"

"I don't trust him, sir."

"I am no longer your commanding officer, Rhys. You don't have to call me sir. Just tell me what happened. I want to hear your side of the story."

"I believe he was about to take one of your Stealth Boys and desert us, sir."

Danse fought to keep a smirk off of his face. He wasn't sure if Rhys was still calling him 'sir' out of habit, or if it was just his way of showing he still respected him. 

"Did he have one of them?"

"No, sir. Not yet."

"All right, Knight. Report noted. For the record, I don't think he's well enough to make it very far, even with the stimpaks he's been given. We will keep an eye on it though."

Danse noticed Rhys focus on something behind him and he turned around to follow the Knight's gaze.

"Situation report?" She asked simply as she approached them, a clear signal that the situation they had just dealt with was over and she had no intention of discussing it..

"Scribe Haylen nearly has everything ready, ma'am." Rhys replied. "She had just picked up an encrypted signal and was working on that when I..." his voice trailed off as he seemed to decide against mentioning the near scuffle.

"That's great news. Shall we, gentlemen?"

Nora gestured with her hand towards the front of the bunker, and the two men let her pass before falling in line behind her.


End file.
